I’ve noticed a rather disturbing trend has raised its invasively shaped head on the worldwide web in the last few years.

The every single day of the year allocated to some cause or other trend. Frankly, I find it exhausting.  There seems to be a post 20th Century gene that’s automatically wired into any being that has access to said worldwide web, never mind all forms of social media. I call it ‘The Post Modern Guilt Gene’.

‘Why the Guilt Gene?’ you make ask. Well, if you have a conscience – whether it’s vastly overdeveloped (like mine) or even if it’s just an infinitesimal smidgen of your primordial make-up – there seems to be a knee jerk response to every assigned day. That’s until you give yourself a stern talking to, otherwise you’ll be splabbing to all and sundry on days like … wait for it … Forgive Your Parents Day. I tiny goat you not. There is an actual bona fide day of this and it was today. I listened in horror and some disbelief as people from all over called, texted and e-mailed the radio station about what they had forgiven their parents about. Granted, a visceral Schadenfreude part of me did gasp and ooo while Pamela from Peterborough regaled all about how she had tried to forgive her mother for burning her hair with a homemade perm in 1985, but then common sense prevailed.  THIS Day of Forgiving was neither relevant, nor important and certainly not worth clogging up the airwaves (or any other wave for that matter).

There are of course, aside from commemorative public holidays, days that actually are significant and are worth marking or remembering, but more often than not, they’re just silly. A few examples:

Towel Day – May 25

International Talk Like a Pirate Day – September 19. (Okay, I’ll admit, I’d probably participate).

No Trousers On The Tube Day – every year around January. (Do you really need to know what day exactly? Really?)

The aforementioned ‘Forgive your Parent’s Day’ – March 18, and not to forget, the all-important;

Fettucine Alfredo Day – February 7.

Perhaps I’m being irreverent (my usual resting state) and a bit mean-spirited, especially considering the tangents my brain takes me (and subsequently, you) on, but for my sanity, I think there will be a number of Days that I won’t be observing, commemorating or even acknowledging this year. Or any year for the foreseeable future for that matter.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve very N.B. matters in mind, as I hare off to the water cooler to make the water gloomph.

Hold the phone! How about an International Make your Water Cooler Water Gloomph Day? Think it’ll catch on?