by Fern Shaw | Aug 4, 2014 | Water, water cooler
This is an absolutely 100% true story. I’m still a bit traumatised, so I’ve been guzzling water for the past hour or so in order to calm down enough to write this.
I’m beginning to wonder about karma; destiny; poetic justice – all those good? things that defy normal day-to-day occurrences.
Allow me to explain:
My poor, long serving car went in for what Round 32 in seems to be an endless series of repairs this past week. The mechanic decided to loan me his car as I needed to get around while he’s effecting repairs.
During the week, I had replied to an e-mail from my mum, where she made mention of her car being rear-ended by a chap driving a Lexus. My response, based mostly on concern, was that she seemed to not have the best luck when it came to having accidents (and she’s had some humdingers in her time).
I’ve always prided myself on being able to drive just about anything – this includes, with absolutely zero experience, a big lorry for the first time ever, down the M5 when I was working on a farm some years ago – without incident. I also have a rather overdeveloped sense of responsibility when it comes to driving other people’s cars – I take exceptional care of other people’s belongings as I would like them to take of mine.
Add to this, the fact that I have had, in 30 years of driving, a total of 1 accident that I caused. It involved a Fiat Mira Fiora, a Greek style toga made out of a bedsheet and a very slow release clutch on a steep hill. ‘nuff said. Anyhow, let’s return to the story.
So, I’m tootling along in the loan car; which is easy peasy as it’s the same make as mine – doing good I might add – buying tinned food to donate to a charity that’s holding an indoor market in the area. I buy the tinned food, get into said car, check behind me to my left for oncoming traffic and people walking behind me and slowly reverse out, smack bang into an Audi which has parked illegally behind me. Loan car’s bumper 1 – Audi bumper 0. It honestly felt like I’d collided with soft tin. Huge dent in the Audi’s bumper. A man the size of a caber tossing Highlander (and I’m not kidding) gets out of the Audi. Things went pretty pear shaped from there.
I then had to ‘phone the friendly mechanic and explain to him that I’d just dinged his car.
So that’s my sad story. It’s left me wondering. Was it because I’d cautioned my mum about her bad luck? Because I’d loaned a car instead of just patiently (not my strong suit) waiting for my car to be returned?
Whatever the reason, I’m not the happiest camper at the moment. Silver lining? Hmm, I’ll have a good story to tell at the water cooler when I get in on Monday.
by Fern Shaw | Aug 4, 2014 | water cooler
*smack*! Excuse me, that wasn’t you I slapped, dear reader – that was for the smart aleck who saw the title and sniggered something about, ‘You really shouldn’t put yourself into your blogs, Shaw …’
… Anyhoo, this blog is a little bit about the wonder of whales, just another incredible inhabitant of our amazing planet.
A few unusual whale facts:
Female Humpbacks Have BFFs
The Mingan Island Cetacean Study group have been using photographic techniques to study humpback whales for the last 16 years. In that time, they began to realize that female humpback whales not only make friends with one another but reunite each year. They remember their pals and even find them across the ocean and among other whales. This was quite a shocking discovery, as up to this point scientists believed that humpback whales were generally unsociable towards each other.
When a female humpback meets her friend, they simply float along together, eating and enjoying each other’s company. These friendships seem to have benefits as female humpbacks who hang out in this way are healthier and give birth to more calves each year. However, friendships between females and males (or even male-male friendship) are mostly unheard of. For reasons that no one can explain, only the ladies like to hang out with each other.
Sperm Whales Sleep Standing Up
Until fairly recently, whales were all thought to share the sleep pattern of dolphins, who sleep with half their brain, letting them keep one eye open for threats. However, a group of scientists in 2013 following sperm whales fitted with location tags discovered something very different and bizarre.
They found the whole pod just of the coast of Chile with their bodies’ vertical to the surface of the water and their heads just bobbing at the surface. The scientists were able to get right into the middle of the pod and could even nudge one of the whales. At that point, all the whales sprung to life and took off. They had been sleeping.
This means that sperm whales sleep in one of the weirdest ways known within the animal kingdom. We think that they dive down and grab snatches of sleep that can last up to about 12 minutes and then slowly drift to the surface head-first. Also, for some reason that remains unknown, they only sleep between the hours of 6:00 PM and midnight.
Whale Song Spreads Like Pop Music
Scientists studying humpback whale songs in 2011 discovered something very odd. The rise and decline of an individual whale’s song is very much like that of a pop song.
In any area shared by whales, everyone sings the same song. Over time, the song will change, and if the new song is catchy enough, it will spread to other populations of whales. When a new whale song comes out, it’s sometimes a sort of remix of the previous song. And that’s not just a gross oversimplification—a researcher from the University of Queensland who has been analysing this odd trend described it as “like splicing an old Beatles song with U2.”
Other times, the new song can be completely original. The more popular songs act like chart music, rising in popularity as they’re sung by more whales and then travelling eastward to other whale populations.
‘How longggggg? How long must we sing this songgggg?
How long? How long?’ ~ lyrics from Sunday Bloody Sunday as sung by U2 (and not the whales).
So, this is my whale (not swan) song or; ‘Ode to the Whaleth’ as sung by me, broadcasting from the water cooler area, where I’ve also set up a slight water balloon trap for Mr. Smart Aleck.
*excerpts from an article at List Verse
by Fern Shaw | Aug 4, 2014 | Water, water cooler, Water Coolers
What I know about maths could fit on one hand, both hands, at a stretch.
The first one that boggles my mind is the Fibonacci numbers that are Nature’s numbering system.
Another example is from The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson. In it, there’s mention made of Fermat’s Last Theorem, which Lisbeth Salander attacks with relish. It’s round about here that my grey matter literally freezes and I’m not joking – I can almost feel my brain kick into neutral. There’s actually little wonder that I spend so much time at the water cooler, my brain grinds to a halt so often that I need to drink lots of water to lubricate it to start functioning again!
Having said this, I do believe that the Fibonacci numbers do kind of, sort of, make sense. There’s symmetry in there that appeals to my rather particular warped logic. All of these equations point to connections that are just there or have been there all along if we just choose to open ourselves up to this magic.
Here’s why I think this:
I’m history mad. When it comes to my forefathers, colour me fascinated. Racial memory, call it what you will, whenever I hear about certain ancient tribes, something resonates within me. One particular example of this is the Vikings. I watch a series called Vikings. I see how fierce they were but also discover that they were also interested in farming and fertile earth and all good things. I see some of their rituals which are, to put it politely, rather brutal.
Not one week later, I start watching another series, Shetland and in the second episode, it shows a centuries old Scottish festival called, wait for it, Up Helly Aa. Part of the festival involves the dragging of a galley through the streets of various towns, culminating in lit torches being thrown into the galley, setting it alight and the galley being consumed in fire. (Early galleys were made from a light timber frame covered with canvas or alternatively old boats, whose useful life afloat was over, were converted and subsequently sent to Valhalla). The festival seems to have derived from the Norse culture, some of whom invaded the Shetlands in the 12th century. We all know by now my wish to have a Viking burial, see Tornados are water, who knew? Sometime in all of this, I watched another program and there was mention made of Freya, the Norse goddess of love and fertility, who I only learnt about while watching Vikings.
So now it seems that there is this symmetry and connectivity in choices that I’ve made – okay, watching Vikings was very much a conscious decision, but I had no clue that Shetland would have all the ancient Viking elements in it nor that they would be burning galleys at festivals or that Freya is mentioned on more than one occasion all of a sardine.
I’m going to leave this with you to ponder over. My brain hurts and I need to drink water.
by Fern Shaw | Jul 8, 2014 | Water, water cooler, Water Coolers
Image ~ Darrin Gatewood
I thought my parrot had finally fallen off its perch when I read the headline.
Water cooling your PC? Mais oui, according to various articles.
Whether you’re using a desktop or laptop computer, there’s a good chance that if you stop what you’re doing and listen carefully, you’ll hear the whirring of a small fan. If your computer has a high-end video card and lots of processing power, you might even hear more than one.
In most computers, fans do a pretty good job of keeping electronic components cool. But for people who want to use high-end hardware or coax their PCs into running faster, a fan might not have enough power for the job. If a computer generates too much heat, liquid cooling, also known as water cooling, can be a better solution. It might seem a little counter-intuitive to put liquids near delicate electronic equipment, but cooling with water is far more efficient than cooling with air.
A liquid-cooling system for a PC works a lot like the cooling system of a car. Both take advantage of a basic principle of thermodynamics – that heat moves from warmer objects to cooler objects. As the cooler object gets warmer, the warmer object gets cooler. You can experience this principle first hand by putting your hand flat on a cool spot on your desk for several seconds. When you lift your hand, your palm will be a little cooler, and the spot where your hand was will be a little warmer.
Well, colour me watercated.
What’s even more impressive is apparently you can fit your own pc water cooler system in your own home. I’d suggest trying it at the office too, but fearless guinea pig that I am, I tried and well, let’s just say that my fans were working overtime once I received the response that I did.
Before any of you get into hot (harf harf harf) water in your work place, I’ll save you the trouble and tell you that asking if you can experiment and replenish your water cooling system using water from the office water cooler is most likely to get you a big, fat ‘No!’ in reply.
by Fern Shaw | Jul 8, 2014 | Health and Hydration
The thickest, the oldest, the tallest, etcetera, etcetera …
Sadly, this will be my swan song blog to do with trees. The ‘trees for the office’ protest at the water cooler is being disbanded. Suffice to say it involved some choice language, some sawed through hemp rope, a water soaked carpet and a few bruised egos. Both Mrs Fitzsimmons and I are required to avoid the area around the water cooler and are to have nominated representatives to refill our water bottles for the next week.
However, as with all good swansongs, I’ve saved the best ‘til last.
These are Britain’s most spectacular trees, identified in a new study of prime specimens across the country.
Tallest: A 211ft grand fir planted in the 1870s beside Loch Fyne, Argyll. It is thought to be the UK’s tallest tree since before the last ice age. The fir, in Ardkinglas Woodland Gardens, has “died back” twice in the last 20 years – meaning the top has died, as a result of drought or a lightning strike, before growing back.
Thickest: “Majesty”, a pedunculate oak, in Fredville Park, a privately-owned estate, near Dover, Kent, has a trunk 13ft across, when measured at chest height, with a circumference of 40ft. It keeps this girth up to a height of about 20ft, but is completely hollow.
Biggest (in terms of volume of timber): A sessile oak growing in the grounds of Croft Castle, a National Trust property in Herefordshire. It is 115ft tall with a trunk 9ft thick at its base, with a volume calculated at 3,800 cubic feet, making it Britain’s biggest living thing.
Oldest: There are three in this category, all yews, all in churchyards and all up to 5,000 years old, making them what are thought to be the oldest living organisms in Europe. They are at Fortingall, in Perthshire, Discoed, in Powys, and Llangernyw, in Conwy. Many churchyards boast yew trees, which often predate the church and may have marked pagan burial grounds.
Rarest: There are several tree species of which only specimen exists, including the Audley End oak, (Quercus audleyensis). It was planted in 1772, at Audley End, Essex – now an English Heritage site. Attempts have been made to plant grafts, but all have died.
Most spreading: An Oriental plane at Corsham Court – a privately-owned historic house in Wiltshire – covers an area almost the size of a football pitch, with an average spread of more than 210ft. Planted in 1757, it is so vast that its lowest branches rest on the ground and some have taken root. The largest “unsupported” crown is thought to belong to a Turkey oak, near Shute House, in Devon, which is up to 177ft across – 70 per cent wider than the dome of St Paul’s Cathedral.
Fastest growing: A silvertop – a species of eucalypt – which grew to the height of a seventh floor window (66ft), in the space of six years. The tree, at Harcourt Arboretum – which is run by the University of Oxford – died last winter. Other swift growers include a hybrid poplar, in Kingscliff Wood, Somerset, which reached 98ft in 17 years.
So, there you have it, trees of Britain, in all their glory. Long may they reign, or shade, or give sustenance to.
*Extracts from an article in The Telegraph by Jasper Copping
